Love Notes

We were eating our oatmeal at the kitchen table this morning and J.J. started talking about why he loves me. "Mom, I love you because you teach me school more than Daddy and I just love getting hugs from you all the time and you're so warm and when I hug you it's like electricity-love flowing all through us." Normally, I might deflect that a bit or say something like, "Well, you have to love me because I take care of you." I also heard Sovann from the other room make a sound that meant, "What about me?" which made me want to prompt J.J. into saying all the stuff he loves about Daddy (thus downplaying his expressions of love for me).
I thought, "No, just listen and let him say what he's trying to express. He will have a similar talk with Sovann someday about how there's no one like his dad who wrestles with him and takes him to play tennis and shows him cool websites and yells at the TV while watching basketball games together." I mentioned how great it was that God created families to have a mom and dad, because when I'm sick or grumpy or busy, Daddy is there to take care of him, and he agreed.
Instead of redirecting J.J. any more, I said, "Thank you for telling me how much you like me. It makes me feel so happy." I told him how much I love him. I also said, "You know how good it feels when you get a hug from me? Well, when you get to heaven and get a hug from God, it will be like that times a million." His eyes lit up and I knew he got my point. I said, "God created mommies and daddies to help us know about how God loves us. So in a way, I'm being God's love to you." J.J. sat up straight and looked at me while his eyes got little puddles in them. Excitedly he said, "Mom, it's like God has a love letter for me and you're the envelope! You deliver God's love messages to me." Wow! I was speechless as my eyes got little puddles, too.
I talked to my Mom on the phone for an hour and 13 minutes (my cell phone told me) last night. She listened while I vented my frustration about the customer service at Wal-Mart and my stress and anxiety over all the broken parts of our house that we need a plumber for. It was so good to be listened to. She shared family news and told me all the stuff she's been doing with the Garden Club. I called to wish her happy mother's day, but I think I got more out of that call than she did. We talked about how hard motherhood is, and about the mistakes we both have made. I felt so much better after talking to my mommy.
God, thank you for mothers and tender-hearted little boys and precocious toddlers and beautiful, talented young daughters. Your love is in all of those miraculous relationships. When I allow my family to help meet some of my needs (physical, spiritual or emotional), I am loved. I am loved when J.J. turns on a worship CD at lunch time when I've been grumpy to him all morning. I am loved when Sovann mows the lawn. I am loved when Grace crawls into bed with me in the morning and warms her cold little toes on me. I am loved when my mom listens to me gripe and vent over the phone. The depth and variety and ubiquitousness of God's love is a mystery to me, and yet every day I am reminded - in the little things like Grace's giggles, J.J.'s hugs, Katherine's love notes and Sovann's loving sacrifices (did I mention he vacuumed the house and did the dishes for me yesterday?) - that God loves me. What an amazing delivery system God has created - I love all the "envelopes" in my life.