Grace quote of the Day

J.J. runs outside, then back inside looking for Grace. (It's one of those rare non-rainy days here in Portland, so outdoor fun has to be grabbed whenever the faintest break in the clouds occurs.)
"Grace, don't you want to come outside with me?" he chirps after finding her.
"I already did! I was experiencing nature," she says while hovering over her play microscope. (Its hard to miss the pride and sophistication in her voice as she replies to her older brother who so often shows off to strangers by sharing his scientific knowledge.)
Off they go into the freezing cold but sunny Oregon afternoon. Upon returning, they share their treasures that they've brought in to study: an unearthed carrot from the garden, a couple dirty rocks from the driveway, and a shell (with "silvery insides") from under my rose bushes.
"Now I'm ready to Science!" Grace announces.
Ahhhhhhhh, the joys of home schooling.

Why Home School?

Near the end of Katherine's third grade, I had another revelatory moment that I'm sure God orchestrated. Due to back-to-back illnesses, lice (again) and Spring break, Katherine was home for a solid two weeks. They weren't necessarily pleasant weeks, either - picking nits for a couple hours a day (painful for us both) with her feeling generally rotten from a lingering cold and missing out on other Spring Break fun. But during that time, we bonded somehow, and I realized that my little girl was closer to becoming a teenager than I realized - not only that, but it seemed she was closer and more strongly influenced by her teachers and friends at school than her parents anymore. So because of the desire to bring our family closer together, take off-season trips with Grandma and Grandpa, and give her challenging, individualized education, we dove into the home school adventure.

I Can't say it was the greatest thing we could have done. Can't say it was all rosy bonding time and peaceful discoveries of the joy of learning. In fact, I think it was one of the most difficult periods of my life, but I don't regret it for a moment. For Katherine's 4th grade, I homeschooled on my own, picking out my own curriculum and doing what we thought we were supposed to do. I was insecure and always worried that there would be gaps in her educations and/or development.

Katherine and I had a lot of "interpersonal conflict" and battles of the will. We both said a lot of things we regretted. Both of us asked for and offered boat loads of forgiveness. She missed her friends terribly, and I was not able to give her all the social interaction she needed.

Grace was a little over a year old and had just suffered her first traumatic seizure that summer. J.J. was attending kindergarten at Harold Oliver, but I'd give him extra stuff to do when he got home (he was already reading before he started kindergarten). As good as it would have been for us to join a co-op or homeschool support group, I just couldn't think of adding anything to our schedule. Sovann was still taking classes at Western Seminary and working full-time and training in MMA. We were active at church (I think I was teaching children's church or Sunday school for pre-schoolers). Basically, I was just hanging on to my sanity by a thread.

We got through the year, though, and decided to try it again the next year with both J.J. and Katherine with a little more structure and guidance. So we enrolled in Connections Academy, which is an online charter school that is carried out at home. Instead of the teachers, we became "learning coaches" (which is just a way of getting around state requirements, because we really were providing the lion's share of instruction). But having the support of a certified, experienced teacher was great, and it meant I didn't have to give grades and wasn't the one making the schedules. It was better than going it all alone, but it wasn't necessarily the best for us, either.

We may have gotten through another year, but we had extra stress that sort of wore us all down. About a month after starting Oregon Connections Academy (ORCA), we had the opportunity to buy Sovann's uncle Savin's house. We hadn't expected the offer to come then, and were not ready to sell our house, but figured we should try to take advantage of this opportunity. So along with homeschooling a 5th and 2nd grader while keeping a 2 year busy, I also threw myself into decluttering and cleaning the house, holding a garage sale, and hiring a landscape/painter guy and carpet cleaner plus 3 different contractors to repair linoleum, dry rot and plumbing problems. Add to that the home inspection of the house we were buying, loan and real estate paperwork, and a million other decisions I had to make every day, and you see why I almost went insane. Sovann was in his last semester of graduate school, working on his thesis and completing an internship while still working full time at Kaiser, so he didn't have a whole lot of time to spare, either. He brought home boxes every night and we'd pack a few things each day.

To make a long story short, despite the fact that it was October (not a great month to try to sell your house) in a slow real estate year, God saw fit to bless us and give us this wonderful new home (and get out of a "not-so-ideal" situation in our other house). Our house sold in a week, (despite having foundation, drainage, electrical, plumbing and dry-rot problems) and Uncle Savin let us have access to his house for almost a month before the sale was final so that we (meaning mostly my folks) could paint and do other repairs. It never would have happened without my mom and dad, who came up and lived at the new house for two weeks, painting, cleaning, overseeing new floors being installed and fixing many little things for us. My sister's family came up from Davis, too and helped us right after moving in (they even brought and prepared Thanksgiving dinner for us!).

Still, after almost two months of prepping, moving and settling, we were all wiped out. With ORCA, there is great pressure to stay on track, turn in assignments on time, take attendence every day and attend "Live lessons." It's great for those of us who need that structure, but there's not a whole lot of flexibility. Even though Katherine had started band at the elementary school, she wasn't getting much social time and again I was too worn out to get involved with anything else.

So after some agonizing days filled with tears and prayers, we enrolled Katherine back in public school (which was a different and somewhat better school since we had just moved). It was a hard transition. The social pressures were overwhelming at first for Katherine, and she would come home almost every day in tears. It didn't help that there was a school dance scheduled and boys and girls in her class were asking each other to go together. Kids on the bus were mean, too, and since she was "the new kid," she became a target for teasing.

However, she has done very well in public school, and her teachers have commented more than once about how well Katherine expresses herself and how naturally curious she is. She has compared to several other home-schooled kids who stood out as having a sincere love of learning.

J.J. continued with ORCA for two years and has accelled academically. For the most part, the school has let him go at his own pace. He is one full grade level above normal for his age, and even more advanced in math. He has struggled with writing and communicating his fabulously creative thoughts clearly. We've had an incredible teacher for both years who has challenged and taught both J.J. and I many things. But he, too misses the social interaction of a classroom setting, and he has some behavioural issues (listening, following directions, waiting to share ideas, etc.) that have not been developed because of schooling at home.

Why Public School?

Well, it's that time of year again where we fret and plan and pray and talk and try to get a clear picture of what we'll do next fall for school. Since Katherine was pre-school age, we've gone through this process and I can't say it's gotten any easier over the years. There is so much to consider and each child has different needs, strengths, wants and abilities. Then there are family logistics and constraints to think about(things like finances, time/space/resource availabilities, mom's mental health, and dad's work schedule). When Katherine was about to enter Kindergarten, I was praying and "heard" a clear message from God. I knew it was God, because it was so NOT something that I had even considered. I was reckoning what would be best for her; worrying about quality of education, social pressures, teacher qualifications, time spent away from the family, etc. But God put this in my head: "Katherine needs to go to public school for others' sake; because of her testimony to others." Wow...OK, God. I felt proud and humbled and scared all together.
Knowing that He is in control and that his will is perfect and loving, we took the leap of faith and enrolled her at Harold Oliver Primary. We met some great families there and Katherine had some wonderful teachers. She had some just OK teachers, too and was absorbed into a system that makes it so easy for "good kids" to get lost. She also brought home lice...4 times, and picked up some not-so-lovely attitudes from classmates (not to blame them, but still I would have liked more wholesome and edifying influences for my firstborn).
Still overall, we have no strong anti-public school sentiments and Katherine has done quite well in the public school system for five and a half years. I think the NEA may be somewhat misguided on their theories and practices of education, but mostly I just think public school teachers are amazing people who are asked to to deal with more than any human should have to assume responsibility for. I have great respect for teachers - almost every teacher I've ever met is incredibly dedicated to what they do and the people they serve.


Last week, we had a conference with Katherine's current teacher and she said, "Every once in awhile I have a student whom I need more than they need me. Katherine is one of those students. She's changed me." This was so encouraging and validating for us. I probably will never know exactly how or in what way Katherine affected her teacher this year, but I know it was positive. Sovann and I both have been praying all year for Katherine, asking God to use who she is and all her good and bad experiences to "speak" to others about God's grace.