It's Almost Showtime!

Here's Katherine as "Mouse" with the bow I sewed. Behind her is "Swan" Lizzy. I also made David's "Snail'" shell.
Friendships are the best thing about CYT.
Tonight is the last dress rehearsal - tomorrow is opening night! I've been madly sewing costumes between homeschooling and keeping the house and life in general going. The show is going to be SMASHING! I am so proud of these kids and everyone that has worked so hard to make the show so awesome. It's neat to see the kids developing character and talent, too. Hope you all can come see the show. Click here to order tickets.

Love Notes

We were eating our oatmeal at the kitchen table this morning and J.J. started talking about why he loves me. "Mom, I love you because you teach me school more than Daddy and I just love getting hugs from you all the time and you're so warm and when I hug you it's like electricity-love flowing all through us." Normally, I might deflect that a bit or say something like, "Well, you have to love me because I take care of you." I also heard Sovann from the other room make a sound that meant, "What about me?" which made me want to prompt J.J. into saying all the stuff he loves about Daddy (thus downplaying his expressions of love for me).
I thought, "No, just listen and let him say what he's trying to express. He will have a similar talk with Sovann someday about how there's no one like his dad who wrestles with him and takes him to play tennis and shows him cool websites and yells at the TV while watching basketball games together." I mentioned how great it was that God created families to have a mom and dad, because when I'm sick or grumpy or busy, Daddy is there to take care of him, and he agreed.
Instead of redirecting J.J. any more, I said, "Thank you for telling me how much you like me. It makes me feel so happy." I told him how much I love him. I also said, "You know how good it feels when you get a hug from me? Well, when you get to heaven and get a hug from God, it will be like that times a million." His eyes lit up and I knew he got my point. I said, "God created mommies and daddies to help us know about how God loves us. So in a way, I'm being God's love to you." J.J. sat up straight and looked at me while his eyes got little puddles in them. Excitedly he said, "Mom, it's like God has a love letter for me and you're the envelope! You deliver God's love messages to me." Wow! I was speechless as my eyes got little puddles, too.
I talked to my Mom on the phone for an hour and 13 minutes (my cell phone told me) last night. She listened while I vented my frustration about the customer service at Wal-Mart and my stress and anxiety over all the broken parts of our house that we need a plumber for. It was so good to be listened to. She shared family news and told me all the stuff she's been doing with the Garden Club. I called to wish her happy mother's day, but I think I got more out of that call than she did. We talked about how hard motherhood is, and about the mistakes we both have made. I felt so much better after talking to my mommy.
God, thank you for mothers and tender-hearted little boys and precocious toddlers and beautiful, talented young daughters. Your love is in all of those miraculous relationships. When I allow my family to help meet some of my needs (physical, spiritual or emotional), I am loved. I am loved when J.J. turns on a worship CD at lunch time when I've been grumpy to him all morning. I am loved when Sovann mows the lawn. I am loved when Grace crawls into bed with me in the morning and warms her cold little toes on me. I am loved when my mom listens to me gripe and vent over the phone. The depth and variety and ubiquitousness of God's love is a mystery to me, and yet every day I am reminded - in the little things like Grace's giggles, J.J.'s hugs, Katherine's love notes and Sovann's loving sacrifices (did I mention he vacuumed the house and did the dishes for me yesterday?) - that God loves me. What an amazing delivery system God has created - I love all the "envelopes" in my life.

Chef Sovann

It was almost 7pm and we were just driving into the garage after CYT classes. Everyone was tired and hungry and I had no plans or even a clue of what to fix for dinner. The frozen pizzas and fish sticks were long gone - no quick fixes in the pantry. I was relieved that Sovann had gotten home before us and I thought out loud, "I wonder if Daddy already fixed dinner." For those of you who don't know, Sovann's gifting does not exactly include home economics. His talents lie elsewhere, and we all pretty much know and accept this in our family.
Katherine replied, "He probably would if you asked him to, but we have to be willing to eat whatever he fixes."
Later, I told Sovann what she said and he stated, "She's going to make a good wife someday."

Grace's Birthday

We just had a small family party for Grace this year.

Here Katherine is sharing her Phillipines report notebook with Auntie Bo and Uncle Jon. She had sections on culture, economy, geography, tourism, and history, including an amazing hand-drawn map and colorful flag. She put hours and hours into this project and we are very proud of her work and what she learned from it.

Opening presents...
J.J. and Josiah getting ready for a duel. They both are members of the S.A.N.C. (Spy And Ninja Christians) that J.J. thought up and organized. He brings his folder to sign up new members everywhere and when we go shopping, he pretends to buy food and supplies for the clubhouse.
Snow White dress-up treasure chest! Shoes, dress, crown and wand - wowie!
Grace really wanted Strawberry Shortcake's horse named Honey Pie, but the best I could find was the Ponyville teapot playset. I don't think she minded too much.Strawberry shortcake (actually, it was a jello poke-cake with strawberry cream frosting - yum).



Precious Oshkosh shirt from Grandma. Sunday she learned the story of the prodigal son and for snacks they had "pigs in mud" which was animal crackers in chocolate cookie crumbs. Unfortunately, she got the "mud" all over the shirt and so it will have to be washed before wearing again. She loves all the books she got - here she's reading "The Bad Haircut Day" (she's wearing the skort from Grandma, too). This morning she spelled out "mat" just by sounding out the word. I'm very excited about her learning to read.

I Love my Family

I don't know why, but I am just feeling so especially thankful and completely in love with the family God has blessed me with. I am very tired today, and needier than usual, so I think that also makes me more open to being and feeling loved. So here are some pictures of the wonderful people in my life.

Grace with a funny hat and face on.

J.J. assembling a solar car kit.

Katherine making an I LOVE CYT craft.

Katherine and Sovann leaving on their road trip to Grants Pass.

Emma with one of Uncle Arnold's new puppies.

Nick is taller than Sovann now!

J.J.'s recipe

One day J.J. came walking in and said, "Mom, do we have chocolate." I replied "no we don't...why do you ask?" Then he told me this recipe called Toasty Chocks. "First you toast bread until it is completely crunchy and put it on a pan, then melt chocolate until it is able to pour on the bread with out making it soggy and put it in the freezer until the chocolate is frozen on the bread. Then you can eat it!"

Grace is 4 Today!

Here's Grace opening presents from Grandma, Grandpa and Great Grandma.

Here she is wearing her birthday crown. I had a follow-up doctor's visit today and my friend Carol watched the kids for me. She fixed Grace's favorite lunch (peanut-butter sandwiches) and put 4 candles in her pudding. Grace insisted in wearing her princess crown while blowing out her candles.

The Painted Veil - Part I

I was reminded this week again about how God used the movie The Painted Veil to speak to me last summer ('07). I liked the movie so much and it had such an impact on me that I asked Sovann to buy it for me (and I don't really like to buy DVD's). I've never really written about it, so I thought I'd try.

The movie is a love story set in the 1920s about a young English couple--a conservative doctor and a restless society girl--who marry hastily and relocate to Hong Kong. There they betray each other - he becomes absorbed in his work and she has an affair. Dr. Fane accepts an assignment in a remote area of China to help with a Cholera epidemic and requires his wife (aware of her unfaithfulness) to travel with him. They barely disguise their smouldering hatred for one another only to find an unexpected chance at redemption and happiness on the other side of forgiveness.

I was eight years old when I received my "proposal" from Jesus, and I accepted because I wanted what was offered. I wanted eternal life; I wanted to go to heaven when I die; I wanted God in my heart and my life to help and guide and comfort me. When Dr. Fane proposed to Kitty, he was enthralled with her (much the way God is head-over-heals in love with each of us), but he also knew that she didn't love him. He accepted that and proposed anyways. He wanted her for himself and was willing to risk rejection and humiliation for the chance at even a part of her committing herself to him. God does the same thing with us. He didn't wait for me to fall head-over-heals in love with him, get myself together, and grow to a maturity level that could understand all Christ sacrificed for me. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Kitty wanted the adventure Dr. Fane offered. She wanted to get away from her family and experience something new. I think she hoped for romance (or some kind of love) to grow or happen with her new husband, but she was disappointed and quickly grew bored in that situation and relationship. In a sense, I "married" Christ and started living the life of a devotee, but I can't honestly say I loved Him or even knew Him very well. I don't think it mattered at the time. I wasn't forced into it - I happily chose it and have never regretted it. But I never even knew there could be more. I never learned in church about intimacy with God, and all I was ever told was to do X, Y and Z (being read the Bible, pray and go to church) and a blissful life of Christian happiness and prosperity would magically happen (i.e. God would "bless" me). I was doing all the right things, but I didn't really know, understand or feel loved by (or love for) my savior.

Like Kitty, I grew tired of what seemed to be a dull, empty facade. Disillusioned, it wasn't long before I looked to other things to bring pleasure, comfort and excitement in my life. I didn't have much luck with the social scene, and I found my niche (and got positive feedback) performing in academics and music. I was spared a lot of heartache and painful consequences by trying to follow the Bible and church leaders' advice on living a holy life, but it was a rather lonely path (I couldn't accept imperfection in myself, so how could I allow it in others?).

When I went away to college, food became my best friend. I had no problem turning down alcohol and I was so shut down relationally that I never allowed myself to be tempted by all the other "bad sins." Gluttony seems to be the most acceptable of sins within the church (potlucks, fellowship snacks and luncheons galore), so it fit in with the lifestyle I was living.

For years I outwardly pledged my devotion to Christ while inwardly having no real intimacy with my savior. I indulged in a torrid love affair with Pringles and pasta and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. I taught Sunday School classes and played piano for the church choir; I organized Bible studies and tithed without fail. When I was tired and empty from all that work, I ate for energy and comfort and pleasure. As my weight grew and my self-esteem shrank, I turned even more to food. But I also never fully turned my back on God. I still wanted his help and I truly wanted relationship at this point. I just didn't know how to get it.

I didn't even consider eating as a spiritual problem until a church weight loss program was advertised and I signed up. (I lost weight but became even more fixated on food because the program was primarily external/works oriented and didn't address any deep heart issues). However, I began to hear God whispering to my heart, "I love you...where did you go? I want you to know me better...closer...deeper. Will you let me in and let me love you?" I wanted to, but I didn't know how. And I was scared.

...more of this story to come later - this is getting pretty long already.